Love to know who first in the West Indians made Jerk Seasoning as in my view they either did it by accident or are god its the best!
Maybe a bowl or a jar was sitting outside on a table and god chucked the bits needed from afar landing in this bowl or jar then during a evening meal a half drunk person used it by mistake then it tasted so good they sobered up walked into the jungle and for years searched for the herbs to make Jerk Seasoning again!
Now it could not have been a easy search for this gold dust of the seasoning world after many adventures and all information was found the long track home started.
A guy standing in his door looks at the perfect moon the clear night thinking how wonderful his life was his wife and 5 kids all asleep, his wife who had always stood by him with that great view of life as well as a great body he laughs to himself 5 great kids as well.
Looking to the side of his house his fishing boats that was his work and it was great never had he come home without a boat load to feed his family and take care of his mum who had brought him up alone he was now in his forty's life was good.
He was just about to turn feeling eyes getting heavy and thinking of the warmth of his wife's body when a crack of wood made his head whip round it came from the jungle it was a clear night so looking at the jungle he could see a hand gripping part of a tree.
Slowly this bush well it looked like a bush someone had made them selfs cloths from the jungle after a few minutes he could see white hair and skin that had not been smooth for years! now how could someone that old stay alive in the jungle.
Now he could see it was a very old man that moved towards him clutching a piece of paper and a bag then as he reached the front of the house " you have this thomas" confused , scared and curious at the same time how did this old guy know his name he could say nothing looked a the piece of paper a list of herbs and direction to make seasoning.
The old man now on his knees and Thomas near him said his last words as he could feel the last beating of his heart " I'm sorry i left you and your mum but that list will change the world" and then darkness took him and thomas took the world.
Any how you must try jerk seasoning its so goooooooooooooooooooooooood! my view on how it was first made well it could be the truth but I doubt it.........
Monday, 23 April 2012
grass
I got my lazy Butt up Sunday to cut the grass of course this got a smile off the wife as well as a big brass band that she had hid under the stairs hmm.
I would have completed but cut half when I felt a sharp pain in my neck thinking I had pulled it my muscle, hand went up only to pick a pin out but it was not a pin but a spear looking around I saw to my amazment two tiny guys standing on a branch of a tree " Leave our Kingdom alone you smelly tall human looking Twat".
I nearly looked at them serious but was to amazed so saying you and who's army may of been a mistake as the grass at my feet opened and hundreds then thousands of these tiny people appeared.
Well your all be pleased to know that I have the smallest city in the world in my back garden who now trade food and many other bits with the giants lol my wife has set a customs desk up!
Anyhow this is a nearly true storie
I would have completed but cut half when I felt a sharp pain in my neck thinking I had pulled it my muscle, hand went up only to pick a pin out but it was not a pin but a spear looking around I saw to my amazment two tiny guys standing on a branch of a tree " Leave our Kingdom alone you smelly tall human looking Twat".
I nearly looked at them serious but was to amazed so saying you and who's army may of been a mistake as the grass at my feet opened and hundreds then thousands of these tiny people appeared.
Well your all be pleased to know that I have the smallest city in the world in my back garden who now trade food and many other bits with the giants lol my wife has set a customs desk up!
Anyhow this is a nearly true storie
Two men walked the railway platform both talking on they mobiles both seeing each other thinking that the other will move out the area that he saw as his walking talking route then coming face to face they just looked into each others faces.
One tall one small still talking on they mobiles both refusing to step aside then phones calls still going the tall one tells the small to move! the small man smiles then tells the tall to p*** off which of course got a rude reply.
People on the phone now forgotten both men go for the other swearing and shouting until the small man pulls a knife which only gets a half smile from the tall man who for some reason then speaks in a Australian accent " thats not a knife this is a knife" and then pulls a knife the size of the small mans head!
So fast it hard to follow with the human eye the small guy jumps up one double kick the tall man flys backwards looking back he see's the small guy now holding a gun advising the tall in a scottish accent "never bring a knife to a gun fight!" with that the Tall guy runs the small going back to his phone.
Now this is nearly a true storie!
One tall one small still talking on they mobiles both refusing to step aside then phones calls still going the tall one tells the small to move! the small man smiles then tells the tall to p*** off which of course got a rude reply.
People on the phone now forgotten both men go for the other swearing and shouting until the small man pulls a knife which only gets a half smile from the tall man who for some reason then speaks in a Australian accent " thats not a knife this is a knife" and then pulls a knife the size of the small mans head!
So fast it hard to follow with the human eye the small guy jumps up one double kick the tall man flys backwards looking back he see's the small guy now holding a gun advising the tall in a scottish accent "never bring a knife to a gun fight!" with that the Tall guy runs the small going back to his phone.
Now this is nearly a true storie!
split second
We have all had it when things P*** us off and you have that split second when imagination becomes real for that second then real world comes back into focus I have these split second things most days I am sure you all do to.
For the last few weeks I have been doing temp work in a office with other Temp's now one a young girl has managed to get to everyone in some form all fashion.
So during wednesday afternoon for some reason she stood up and screamed scaring one woman for my self a window smashed a giant hand smashing it knocking table and chairs over grabbing the screaming girl. Looking outside I could see the full giant who smiled it was Judge Judy how she got to that size who knew but with a smile and a wink she took the screaming girl walked away singing "its a kind of magic".
Then reality came back I walked over to the girl asked her to shut up which she did and everyone went back to work.
On my route home yesterday I was on a train full of shouting school kids well I clicked my fingers and all went silent I then glued all lips together so gooood, Then real world hit and I walked into the next coach.
For the last few weeks I have been doing temp work in a office with other Temp's now one a young girl has managed to get to everyone in some form all fashion.
So during wednesday afternoon for some reason she stood up and screamed scaring one woman for my self a window smashed a giant hand smashing it knocking table and chairs over grabbing the screaming girl. Looking outside I could see the full giant who smiled it was Judge Judy how she got to that size who knew but with a smile and a wink she took the screaming girl walked away singing "its a kind of magic".
Then reality came back I walked over to the girl asked her to shut up which she did and everyone went back to work.
On my route home yesterday I was on a train full of shouting school kids well I clicked my fingers and all went silent I then glued all lips together so gooood, Then real world hit and I walked into the next coach.
slow motion
Has time slowed for you I think it has at some point or maybe you think this just happens in movies well I tell you it happens hmmm still don't believe me think on it.
I always remember slow motion when I was on holiday as a child I remember the bird on the wind or the dance floor with my sister watching her try that new step she had being practicing and got right, or my wife saying I DO at our wedding I did'nt hear the words as time had slowed..
It happened to me Sunday I was waving at my parents after a visit and some how they were waving back some how in slow motion it was just one of those perfect moments.
I always remember slow motion when I was on holiday as a child I remember the bird on the wind or the dance floor with my sister watching her try that new step she had being practicing and got right, or my wife saying I DO at our wedding I did'nt hear the words as time had slowed..
It happened to me Sunday I was waving at my parents after a visit and some how they were waving back some how in slow motion it was just one of those perfect moments.
alice in wonderland
As normal I was watching people in my route home now two kids with red cap's chucking a book teasing another kid who of course was smaller!
Now both the big kids had blazers, red cheeks, chubby and those lovely cap's I tell you now they both turned into cartoon's if I saw the white rabbit I would be spooked.
I did however see a small guy with a big beard with wild hair he had cat eyes with a large smile do I need to say more hmm anyhow I stopped all three's fun taking the book given to the smaller kid who then stuck his finger up to all of us and ran lol big kids walked away so not all stupid then. I walked on myself then saw blonde girl in a light blue dress holding a playing card!!
This is nearly a true story.....
Now both the big kids had blazers, red cheeks, chubby and those lovely cap's I tell you now they both turned into cartoon's if I saw the white rabbit I would be spooked.
I did however see a small guy with a big beard with wild hair he had cat eyes with a large smile do I need to say more hmm anyhow I stopped all three's fun taking the book given to the smaller kid who then stuck his finger up to all of us and ran lol big kids walked away so not all stupid then. I walked on myself then saw blonde girl in a light blue dress holding a playing card!!
This is nearly a true story.....
My train towards work is a two coach slow train, a little country train and people that get on all know each other like a small family not me of course I have my head in a book or paper, watching all.
A Ticket Collector came out of his cab "Tickets please" so he was amazed for some reason when someone wanted to buy one. Now I had a smile on my face already as apart from the legs flying up this guy walked like John Cleese and spoke just like him.
Anyhow a guy wanted a single ticket so the ticket guy advised £2.70 please, guy brought out a twenty pound note which got the Ticket Collector swearing under his breath, then pen in hand he slammed it into his shirts top pocket and ripped it lol at this point I am crying with laughter.
After he finishes dealing with this he goes to another guy that then brings out another twenty pound, the ticket guy gets his machine chucks it down the train goes red goes and picks it up, then starts walking in a small circle making me laugh harder as well as others.
At this point men smash through the windows making everyone jump grabbing the scared ticket guy putting a strait-jacket on him and then a long piece of rope! one signals to a helicoptor which I only just hear ,all holding on. all disapear and the train is a little cold due to the wind.
This is nearly a true story!!
A Ticket Collector came out of his cab "Tickets please" so he was amazed for some reason when someone wanted to buy one. Now I had a smile on my face already as apart from the legs flying up this guy walked like John Cleese and spoke just like him.
Anyhow a guy wanted a single ticket so the ticket guy advised £2.70 please, guy brought out a twenty pound note which got the Ticket Collector swearing under his breath, then pen in hand he slammed it into his shirts top pocket and ripped it lol at this point I am crying with laughter.
After he finishes dealing with this he goes to another guy that then brings out another twenty pound, the ticket guy gets his machine chucks it down the train goes red goes and picks it up, then starts walking in a small circle making me laugh harder as well as others.
At this point men smash through the windows making everyone jump grabbing the scared ticket guy putting a strait-jacket on him and then a long piece of rope! one signals to a helicoptor which I only just hear ,all holding on. all disapear and the train is a little cold due to the wind.
This is nearly a true story!!
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